You Know You’re Getting Old When…

K Rock legend Stampsy takes a look at the small signs that your younger days are passing you by.

Getting old is inevitable. The grey hair on my head proves it (but my hair angel Steph at Brown & Co hides the evidence). Every day I’m getting closer to my pensioner card and 10% off my weekday lunch at The Telegraph.

And we all want to grow old gracefully. Or at least acquire a lil grace after years of slinging our shoes over our shoulders after the Geelong Cup. Or after tequila shots and the walk of shame down Pako after a night at Lamby’s with Dan… Sam… whatever his name is.

As you get older you aren’t always bestowed with maturity. However, I feel you do earn wisdom and the benefit of hindsight. You also begin to recognise the small signs that your younger (aka ‘I can back it up’) days are passing you by.

They aren’t the beginning of the end. Instead, it brings freedom and confidence in your life choices. You don’t need to keep up anymore. But even though we might be years away from retirement living, the aging process starts in your 30’s.

• You’ll respond to an invitation the day after the rsvp date so you can decide if you really do have the energy to attend. (TBH it might even be the day before the actual event).
• Facebook shows you memories from 10 years ago and you can’t remember where the photo was taken.
• Every sunny Geelong day is “washing my sheets ‘cause they’ll dry on the line” day.
• You get excited when plans are cancelled so you can stay in and watch Married At First Sight.
• You have two wines at dinner so you can drive home. You don’t have the patience to wait for an Uber.
• You take a jacket (for bonus points a cardigan) on a night out. When you leave the club, you look at other people and say to yourself ‘aren’t you cold?!?’
• You left the above club because the music was too loud.
• When you reach down to pick a pen off the floor, you make a ‘grumph’ noise. You know it, it’s that same noise you make when you get up off the floor.
• You bathe in Deep Heat (or any anti-inflammatory cream) before going to the gym… and after the gym… and after a shower.
• You have 7 different types of T2 tea and you’ll have a cup before you go to bed.
• Your sleepwear is flannel AND practical. If you’re single it’s comforting, if you’re in a relationship you’ve settled.

But you know what, embrace it! Bears retreat into their dens for hibernation over winter. Possums play dead to avoid responsibility. Well, it’s a defence mechanism but they choose that over running. Knowing that about them, I think the possum is my spirit animal.

You’ve earned this time in your life to do what you want to do, as long as you’re not hurting anyone. So, make yourself happy. Be adventurous. Try new things. Stay in and watch Netflix. Drink that lemongrass honey tea. Be that bear.

Just take a jacket with you if you’re going out. It’s getting colder at night.

Stampsy’s on the socials if you have any more aging signs to list – IG @lee_stamps and FB StampsyKROCK

Photo via The Simpsons